


fall in deep

by Anonymous



Series: ain't close enough [8]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, M/M, Misunderstandings, Overstimulation, Restraints, Sibling Incest, Stretching, Talking Like Adults, sex tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 12:50:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20546444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It's the night before Alexander leaves for his first NHL training camp, and he wants to remember it every time he moves for the next week.





	fall in deep

**Author's Note:**

> Happy "somewhere near 50k in this series" or something!

Alexander has been at war with his calendar for weeks now.

It's not that he isn't looking forward to going to the NHL, because he very much is. He'd signed with the Avalanche because he thinks they're a team on the rise; he can see himself there so easily, wearing the burgundy and blue, skating up and down the ice with his teammates, making a lot of friends. He's already got plans to live with a couple of the younger guys, and he thinks it's going to be amazing.

The only thing that sucks about going to Colorado is that Colton won't be there, and the calendar has been ticking down days with relentless efficiency, not caring about any of Alexander's feelings on the subject.

It's not like they hadn't known it was coming; there's no way in hell Alexander was going to sign with the Bruins, so he was always going to be somewhere else. It's just that they've been living out of each other's pockets for so long, last summer spilling into a year together at Harvard transitioning seamlessly into another summer at home, that the idea of distance seems impossible now.

"Hey," Colton says, and Alexander looks up from the suitcase he's trying to zip shut. "Any plans for your last night in town?"

Alexander shrugs and leans on the suitcase, and Colton walks fully into his bedroom, pushing the door shut lazily behind him before grabbing the zipper and yanking it shut.

"Thanks," Alexander says. "I didn't make any plans, no. I figured…"

Colton smiles at him, the real, bright smile that Alexander has come to love more than almost anything else on the planet. "So I might have assumed that, and I might have made plans for us."

Alexander laughs. "I'd say that was presumptuous of you, but I think it actually just shows how well you know me."

"I mean, I do try," Colton says. "Mom and Dad want to do dinner as a family, blah blah. I got Mom to tell me where she made the reservations, and I might have made a reservation of my own for after that."

Alexander's eyes go wide. "You mean--"

"I mean pack an overnight bag," Colton says, voice low. "I've got plans and a hotel room."

"Hell yes," Alexander says, grinning. "Should I pack supplies?"

"I've got it handled," Colton says with a smirk. "I told Mom that you and I had plans with some of the guys and we'd be out all night, so she's not expecting us home, and we got the okay to drive separately. Just put your bag in the back of the car and leave the rest to me."

Alexander glances towards the door, which has been cracked open this whole time, and lowers his voice even more. "Is it weird that I'm into you being good at planning this without me catching on?"

Colton laughs. "You're supposed to be into it. That was half the point of not telling you ahead of time."

Alexander grins. "Okay, well," he says, "I'll toss some stuff in a bag, and then we can waste some time before we have to go to dinner."

"Nope," Colton says, stepping back with a grin. "I have to go do a few things. I'll be back later, and we can ride over together."

Alexander raises both eyebrows. "What do you have to do?"

"You'll find out," Colton says, voice low, and then he pulls the door open the rest of the way and walks out.

"I'll find out," Alexander echoes, blinking as Colton disappears down the hall.

He packs an overnight bag and tries not to think about what, exactly, Colton has planned. It's easy enough to distract himself when Soleil asks him for some help with her math homework; she doesn't really need it, he figures out a few minutes in, not with how smart she is and how much review is involved with stuff at the beginning of the year, but it makes something warm and happy settle in his chest that she asked him anyway. It's easy to spend time with his family, laughing with Mom at Daniel's descriptions of his teachers, looking over the business section of the newspaper with Dad and arguing about economic growth trends. He likes his family, and it's another sort of pang, knowing he's leaving the rest of them for the season, too. At least at Harvard he'd had the holiday break to look forward to; the NHL isn't going to afford him the same kind of time off.

Colton gets home just as Mom starts making noises about leaving for dinner, and when Alexander throws his bag into the backseat of his car, he notices another overnight bag and a plain gray paper shopping bag already stashed there. He doesn't peek through supreme force of will, and Colton grins at him once they're in the car. "Soon," he promises.

"Just have to make it through dinner," Alexander says, turning the car on and following Dad's car out of the driveway.

Dinner is nice; it gets a little teary at the end when Dad makes a toast and Mom hugs him hard, but Alexander's back at his car with Colton before he gets too emotional.

Colton grins and holds a hand out. "I'll drive."

"Oh really?" Alexander asks, grinning, but he's already handing the keys over. "I don't know if I should take this as you not trusting me to get us there or as something else."

Colton takes the keys from him, and his smile goes sweet. "Take it as me wanting to do something nice for you."

Alexander smiles back at him, helpless to do anything else. "Oh. I can do that."

"Good," Colton says, stepping back. "Get in."

"Yeah," Alexander says, turning to get in the car.

Colton doesn't have to adjust the seat or the mirrors when he climbs in; they're so similar, Alexander thinks, height and weight and the way they look, the big things all the way down to the way Colton double-checks each way before pulling out of the parking lot. Colton learned it from him, Alexander knows, and there's something a little overwhelming thinking about how many things Colton's learned from him.

"What are you thinking about?" Colton asks, glancing over with a smile on his face as he pulls to a stop at a light.

"You," Alexander says. It's not the whole truth, but it's the important part.

Colton snorts. "I already got us the hotel room. You don't have to flatter me."

"I'm also not gonna lie," Alexander says, shrugging. "You asked, and I told you."

Colton's cheeks are rosy as he looks back to the road. "Well, right now I'm thinking about how glad I am that I decided to get a room near where we were eating even though it's not the fanciest place, because I really, really want to get my hands on you."

Alexander shifts in his seat. "I really, really want that, too."

"Good," Colton says, starting to go as the light turns. "Do you want to know what I was thinking for tonight?"

"Not yet," Alexander says quickly. He glances over his shoulder at the gray bag, then back at Colton. "I can wait."

Colton grins widely. "So, like, tell me if I'm off base here," he says. "But you like when I'm the one making the calls, don't you? Not just me asking for things, not just because of the rule."

Alexander feels how quickly his cheeks go hot. "Yeah."

"Yeah," Colton echoes. "I'm glad I was right about that."

Alexander doesn't glance at the bag again. "I'm not asking."

"You'll find out," Colton promises like he had earlier, putting his turn signal on and turning into the parking lot for a Days Inn. He glances over as he puts the car in park. "I did warn you that it wasn't fancy."

Alexander rolls his eyes. "Like I need fancy."

Colton laughs and shakes his head. "I knew you'd say something like that."

"It's true," Alexander says, smiling at him. "Let's go check in."

"Already done," Colron replies. "That was part of my running around earlier. Just get your bag and follow me."

Alexander raises an eyebrow as he unbuckles and opens the door. "Okay, now I'm wondering why you have bags at all, if you were already here."

"I didn't actually go to the room for more than a minute," Colton says, rolling his eyes and grabbing his things. "I just wanted to check in so we didn't have to deal with it now, and see if I could talk them into giving us a room on the end of the building."

"Really," Alexander says, grinning.

"Fewer neighbors," Colton says, laughing as he leads Alexander to the door. He pulls a key card out of his pocket and opens it up, then walks to the end of the hallway and opens the door of the last room there. "As it turns out, it was worth asking."

"Apparently," Alexander says as he follows Colton into the room. It's a pretty standard hotel room: two queen beds, a mini fridge and a microwave, a bathroom. It reminds Alexander of road trips at Harvard, the two of them trying to keep quiet so none of their teammates caught on, and he shivers now as he realises that they don't have to worry about that tonight, since nobody here knows who they are.

Alexander sets his bag on the bed near the door and grins at Colton. "So I heard you had a plan," he says as he steps out of his shoes.

"I do," Colton agrees, setting his bags down and meeting Alexander's eyes. "So you're leaving after lunch tomorrow."

"Yeah," Alexander says. He bites at his lip, thinking about the year ahead, the grind of an NHL season, Colton back at Harvard where things would be possible for him even if they wouldn't exactly be easy. "I… look, Colton, before we start, I want to say that I don't want you to make me any promises."

Colton stands perfectly still. "What do you mean?"

Alexander gestures at nothing. "It's college," he says quietly. "You should… you should do whatever you want, okay? I'm not going to hold you back."

There's a moment of quiet, and then Colton closes his eyes and shakes his head. "And you're in the NHL now," he says, voice neutral. "So anything could happen."

Alexander bites hard at the inside of his cheek so he doesn't blurt out anything about how he doesn't think he'll sleep around, how he feels kind of sick at the thought of touching someone else, of Colton bringing somebody back to the apartment that had been theirs. He shrugs instead, because he's not going to lie to Colton. "Anything could, yeah."

"Okay," Colton says, opening his eyes. "Does that mean you don't want--"

"No," Alexander cuts in, taking a step towards him. "No, I want it. Whatever you have planned, I want it." He laughs and glances away. "I mean, assuming I haven't entirely killed the mood."

"I mean, it's not how I thought about starting things off tonight," Colton says. His smile is a little strained, and part of Alexander wants to take back what he just said, but he knows that saying it was important. "But I still want to do this, so I'm in if you're in."

"I'm in," Alexander says. He wants to follow it up with an assurance, but he forces himself not to backtrack. "Tell me what you want."

Colton holds a hand out. "Come here and let me kiss you."

Alexander reaches out and lets Colton pull him in, tipping his face up a little to meet Colton's mouth with his own. He'd sort of expected it to be frantic, the kind of kiss that's just as much bite, but Colton kisses him slowly, thoroughly. His hands wander, running up and down Alexander's back, keeping him close as Alexander feels himself relaxing bit by bit.

"Hey," Colton murmurs, pulling back and resting his forehead against Alexander's. "Can I take your shirt off?"

"Yeah," Alexander says. "Do you want me to help?"

Colton shakes his head, pushing his hands beneath Alexander's shirt. "Let me."

Alexander nods and stands still as Colton slowly drags his hands up, pulling the shirt with it. "Duck your head," he says softly when it's rucked up under Alexander's arms. When he does, Colton pulls it up and over, then slides it down his arms. He drops it to the floor and leans in, pressing a kiss to Alexander's shoulder, then trailing them across his collarbone.

Alexander's mouth drops open as Colton brushes his lips against the place where his neck becomes the slope of his shoulder. "Can I mark you?" he asks, voice barely a breath in Alexander's ear. "Everyone thinks we're out with friends. You can say you picked up if someone asks you about it tomorrow, and nobody in Colorado will think to ask."

"Do it," Alexander says, lifting a hand to rest it on Colton's hip as he tilts his head to the side.

Colton doesn't hesitate, biting at Alexander's skin and then sucking at the mark. It's easy to feel the bruise forming, and Alexander swallows hard at how he reacts to it, blood pulsing hot and quick through his body when Colton moves his mouth and starts working at another mark. He doesn't stop, working a line of marks down Alexander's chest until he's mouthing at his nipple, and Alexander gasps as Colton takes it delicately between his teeth, teasing at it gently with his tongue.

"Colton," Alexander says, voice strangled as he pushes his hand into Colton's hair. It's to ground himself, not to pull him away or to keep him there, but Colton closes his lips around Alexander's nipple and hums before pulling back.

"Okay," Colton says, straightening up. He brings his hands to Alexander's hips, pushing his thumbs beneath the waistband. "Can I take these off, too?"

"Please," Alexander says. "You can do whatever you want, Colton."

Colton smiles as he looks down and unbuttons Alexander's jeans. "Maybe hearing you agree to everything I ask for is exactly what I want right now."

Alexander pulls in a breath. "Please," he says again. "Take my pants off."

Colton pulls the zipper down slowly, then glances up. "Okay," he says softly, then pushes them down his hips. They catch on his thighs and Colton goes to his knees, tugging them gently down. He taps at Alexander's right ankle, and Alexander puts a hand on his shoulder to steady himself as he steps out of one leg, then the other.

"What now?" Alexander whispers when Colton looks back up at him.

"Can I take your boxers off?" Colton asks just as quietly.

Alexander nods and Colton reaches up, and they go through the process again, Colton pulling them down and Alexander stepping out of them. He's left in his socks and nothing else, and he feels ridiculous, but Colton stands up and rests a hand on his waist before kissing him thoroughly.

"Sit on the bed for me," Colton says, pulling back to look at Alexander.

Alexander nods and turns, walking slowly to the bed. Maybe he's showing off a little, but he's pretty sure Colton's enjoying watching, so he takes his time turning and sitting.

Colton's eyes are dark. "You know what you look like, right?"

"You should tell me," Alexander says. He spreads his legs a little and resists the urge to get a hand on his cock; he's not sure where the line between showing off and teasing is, but he's pretty sure that's on the other side of it.

Colton crosses the room in four quick strides and slides his fingers into Alexander's hair, pulling slightly so Alexander tips his head back to look at him. "You look like every wet dream I had when I was sixteen," he says, voice rough. "Every time I wake up hard, I think about you like this, even though half the time you're right there with me anyway. When I'm bored in class, when I'm fucking around during practice, when I'm in line at the goddamn supermarket, Alexander, all I have to do is think your name and I remember how gorgeous you are, naked and hard for _me_."

"Colton," Alexander says, because he can't think of anything else to say that isn't asking too much. His head is already tilted back, so all he has to do is part his lips when Colton leans in and then they're kissing, hot and rough and needy. This is the kind of kiss that Alexander had been expecting, and he drowns in it the same exact way he'd floated in the kiss earlier. He wouldn't be able to pick a favorite if he tried.

Colton puts a hand in the middle of Alexander's back and leans in more, tugging his hair back and down, and Alexander leans into it. Colton doesn't stop kissing him as he slowly lays Alexander down on the bed, cradling him close the whole way, and Alexander wouldn't be able to do anything about the way he melts into it if he tried.

He doesn't try.

Alexander blinks his eyes open when Colton finally pulls back; he has no memory of closing them, but he's also not terribly surprised that he had. Colton's always been good at overwhelming him in just the right way to get him to let go, and it feels like he's pulling out every single trick he's ever learned tonight.

"So the stuff I have in the bag," Colton says, still so close that his lips brush against Alexander's when he speaks. "We don't have to use any of it if you don't want to. I know you're not going to ask me for anything, but _I'm_ asking _you_ for a yes or a no. Can we do that?"

"Yeah," Alexander says. "Always."

Colton's eyes are dark as he pulls back. "Get on the bed all the way," he says. "And take your socks off. I know it's bugging you that I didn't."

"I can leave them on if you want," Alexander offers immediately. "I can handle--"

"Please take them off," Colton cuts in, smiling at him.

Alexander laughs and pulls his legs up one after the other, tugging his socks off and dropping them over the side of the bed. "Okay," he says as he lays down in the middle. "Thanks."

Colton takes a long, slow breath, and then he turns to the bag. "Okay, this isn't optional," he says, and Alexander reaches out and catches what Colton tosses to him. He rolls his eyes at the lube, but sticks it under his arm to start warming it up.

"What else?" Alexander asks. He's curious, has been for a while, but the feeling is somehow a lot worse now that he's about to find out. 

Colton glances at him, then picks the bag up and walks over to the side of the bed. He sits down beside Alexander, and Alexander shivers at the feel of Colton's jeans against the bare skin of his hip. Colton meets his eyes and pulls something out of the bag, reaching out to drop it on Alexander's chest.

"What," Alexander asks. It's fabric, he realizes, smooth and cool against his skin, and he reaches up and plucks a length of what feels like silk out of the pile. He looks up at Colton as he runs it through his fingers. "You want to tie me up, or you want me to tie you up?"

"I want to tie you to the bed," Colton says, reaching out and dragging the other strip of silk off of Alexander's chest. "Just your hands, so you can't touch, and I want…"

Alexander swallows. "You want what?"

"To do whatever pops into my head," Colton says. "I want to mark you up more. I want to eat you out. I want to see how much of your cock I can get down my throat. I want to open you up and fuck you and see how long I can stay in you before you ask me to pull out."

"Oh my god," Alexander says. He's sure his face is bright red. "I-- _yes_."

"I want to make this so good for you," Colton says quietly.

Alexander drops the silk to the bed and reaches out, grabbing Colton's hand. "Whatever you want to give me," he says. "I want it, okay? I want it."

"If you tell me to stop, I'll stop," Colton says. "I know you know that, but I need to say it anyway."

"Okay," Alexander says. "I trust you, Colton."

Colton shudders, squeezing Alexander's hand hard. "Okay," he says, letting go. "Are you ready?"

"Is there anything else in the bag?" Alexander asks.

Colton glances into it. "Yeah, but I think I changed my mind about the rest of it."

Alexander's brain goes wild for a moment, but he manages to nod. "Okay," he says. He waits until Colton puts the bag on the floor and turns back to look at him, then raises his arms so his hands are above his head. "Tell me how you want to do this."

"Holy shit," Colton whispers, eyes going a little wider. "I… huh. I need a minute to think about that."

Alexander grins and flexes his fingers. "Take your time."

"No," Colton says emphatically, planting a hand on the bed and leaning in to kiss him, hard and quick. "Taking my time thinking means I'm not touching you. I have to get all the touching in while I can."

Alexander raises a hand to cup Colton's jaw, stroking his thumb against the stubble on his cheek. "Whatever you want," he says, and he doesn't know how else to say it, how he's supposed to convince Colton that he _wants_ it, that whatever Colton has in mind is something Alexander wants him to do.

Colton nods slowly, reaching out and picking up one of the ties. "Hands above your head," he says.

Alexander smiles and does it, putting his hand back on the pillow.

"Okay, and now," Colton says, reaching up with the tie in his hand. He glances down at Alexander. "The lady at the shop showed me how to do this, but I need you to tell me if it's too loose or too tight or anything like that, okay?"

"Okay," Alexander says. "Those were your errands? Getting us a hotel room and then going to a sex shop to get advice on how to tie me up?"

Colton flashes him a smile and picks up his right wrist. "I didn't want to just order something off the internet and do it based on YouTube videos. You're worth going into a sex shop and having one of the most awkward conversations of my life for."

"Thanks, I think," Alexander says as Colton starts wrapping the silk around his wrist.

Colton laughs. "You're welcome," he says. "I felt like a tomato the whole time. She was very nice about it, though."

"Well, I'm glad she was nice about it," Alexander says as Colton reaches for the other tie and starts wrapping it around Alexander's left wrist. Alexander tilts his head back and looks at his right wrist. "Uh, not to criticize, but you forgot to tie me to anything."

"Patience," Colton chides, grinning down at him. "I've got a process to follow here."

"Okay, okay," Alexander says, laughing as he lays his head back down. "I guess you're the one in charge here."

Colton's grin widens. "That's what you keep telling me."

"And it keeps being true," Alexander says as Colton lays his left wrist down. He's still fiddling with the silk, and Alexander can feel it sliding against his wrists.

Colton picks up Alexander's right wrist and crosses it over his left, then wraps the silk around them, crossing it over and under and around. He lays Alexander's wrists gently back against the pillow, then does something with the ties and the headboard. "Okay," he says, surveying his work. "How's that? Too tight, too loose, anything like that?"

Alexander flexes his wrists; they're bound together, and when he tugs gently, he can't bring them down. It sends heat rolling through him, and his mouth drops open. "Oh."

"Good? Bad?" Colton asks. "I need your words, Alexander."

"Good," Alexander says, tipping his head back again and looking up at Colton's work. The ties are different colors, and Alexander blinks at how they're wound around each other. "Did you… did you pick these out, or was it a package deal for the two?"

Colton laughs quietly and touches the ties. "Burgundy and blue," he says. "I didn't know if you'd notice."

Alexander looks up at Colton. "Kiss me," he says, words falling from his lips before he thinks about holding them back. Colton leans down and kisses him, though, hand trailing down Alexander's chest and tweaking a nipple. It makes Alexander whine, and Colton pulls back and grins at him.

"Okay, so, one more thing from the bag," he says, sitting back. Alexander clenches his fingers to keep himself from trying to reach out as Colton leans over. He sits back up a moment later, a small smile on his face as he shows Alexander a pair of scissors. "Not exciting, but necessary. If you need the ties to come off, let me know. These are safe to use near your skin."

"You thought of everything, huh," Alexander says, smiling back.

Colton sets them on the nightstand. "The lady at the store asked if I had them, and I don't think she would've sold me the ties if I didn't tell her that I wanted them."

"I think I need you to tell me which shop this is," Alexander says. "It sounds like a place I should check out, as long as they're not gonna give me shit if they recognize me."

"We can talk specifics later," Colton says. He stands up and pulls his shirt off, then shoves his pants down without finesse, leaving him in his boxers and socks. When he looks back at Alexander, his gaze is hungry. 

"Yeah," Alexander says, his eyes trailing down Colton's body. "Later."

"First," Colton says, picking up the lube from where it had fallen to the bed. He puts it between Alexander's shoulder and the bed, which is as good a place as any to let it warm up. "First I want to blow you."

"Okay," Alexander says, spreading his legs. Colton settles between them, and Alexander tries to reach for him before remembering that he can't. He breathes in slowly as the implications really hit him: that Colton will stop if he asks, yeah, but Alexander's helpless to stop him, to encourage him, to even touch him.

Colton laughs softly when Alexander's cock jumps against his stomach. "Yeah," he says. "I figured you'd like it."

"How?" Alexander asks. "It's not like I said anything. It's not like I _knew_."

"I pay attention," Colton says, looking into Alexander's eyes. "I'm always paying attention to you."

Alexander's mouth drops open, but Colton doesn't say anything else. He just keeps looking at Alexander, and then he smiles, a small, crooked thing, and he shifts so he's lying between Alexander's thighs.

"If you want me to stop, just say so," Colton says, looking up at him again. "Otherwise I'm just gonna keep going until I feel like doing something else."

Alexander nods. "Okay," he says, and then Colton wraps a hand around the base of his cock and licks a stripe from his fingers up to the tip, and Alexander lets his head fall back against the pillow and enjoys it.

Colton's gotten good at this, Alexander thinks. He starts small, lips wrapped around the head and gently bobbing down, but he picks up speed fast, going farther and farther each time. He knows when to hollow his cheeks and suck, when to pull back and work at the head, when to drag his lips up the shaft to make Alexander tremble.

He goes slowly, so slowly, and Alexander feels like he's overheating, like he's losing any chance at coherent though. "Colton," he gasps as Colton swallows a little more and Alexander brushes against the back of his throat. "Please, please."

Colton pulls his head up. "Please what?" he asks, and Alexander squeezes his eyes shut at how _obvious_ he sounds.

"I need," Alexander says, rolling his hips into nothing. "Can I come?"

Colton inhales sharply. "Do you need to, or do you just want to?" he asks, voice low.

"I don't know," Alexander says. It's less urgent now that Colton's mouth isn't on his cock anymore. "I don't-- I can wait, I think."

"Then wait," Colton says. "For me, okay? Just wait."

"Okay," Alexander says, and then Colton leans in again, lips sinking down and down until they're brushing his fingers. He squeezes lightly at the base of Alexander's cock as he swallows, and Alexander cries out, clenching his hands into fists above his head. He wants to reach down, to tangle his fingers in Colton's hair, but the fact that he can't is just winding him up more and more, and he's close in way less time than he thought he would be.

"Colton," Alexander says, more a groan than a word. He turns his face so his mouth is against his arm, and he's so oversensitized that the feeling is almost too much. "Colton, I'm gonna-- you have to--"

Colton pulls off again, and Alexander cries out, half in dismay and half in relief. "God, you're hot," he says, looking up at Alexander. "If you come now, will you be able to come again later on my cock?"

"Yes," Alexander gasps out. "Yes, _please_, I can do it--"

"Come for me," Colton says, and he wraps his lips around the head of Alexander's cock and sucks, moving his hand, and Alexander cries out, back arching up off the bed as he comes.

Colton sucks him through it, swallowing what he can, but when he pulls off there's come on his face. He looks up at Alexander like he's thinking, then crawls over his body, holding himself above him as Alexander catches his breath. "I'm a mess," he says, voice low.

"Let me," Alexander says, craning his head up. Colton leans down and Alexander kisses him, tongue darting out and licking the come off of Colton's chin, the curve of his cheek. It tastes like it always tastes, and Alexander has the dizzy thought that he and Colton even taste the exact same.

Colton leans in when Alexander lays his head back down, and the kiss isn't gentle at all. It's good, though, hot and open-mouthed, and Alexander moans into it when Colton gets a hand between them and pinches at a nipple.

"God," Colton breathes out as he rolls it between his fingers. "I bet you could come from this."

Alexander shudders at the thought of it. "Maybe," he says. "Maybe if you were-- were fucking me and playing with my chest at the same time…"

"Yeah," Colton says, leaning down to lick at Alexander's nipple lightly. "Yeah, that would do it for you, wouldn't it? My cock so deep in you, playing with your nipples, neither one of us touching your cock."

"Colton," Alexander chokes out as his cock twitches feebly.

"I bet I could make you come like that," Colton says, brushing his mouth against Alexander's nipple again. "Not tonight, but maybe-- some other time."

There's an odd catch in his voice, and Alexander frowns and focuses on it. "What," he says. "Hey."

Colton kisses right between his pecs. "Don't worry about it."

"Colton," Alexander says, frowning harder as his brain comes back online. "Talk to me."

Colton glances up at him. "_Please_ don't worry about it," he says, and there's something so vulnerable in his expression, something that Alexander thinks is one step away from Colton begging him. "After, okay? I promise I'll tell you after."

"Something's bothering you," Alexander says. He sort of wishes his hands were free right now, because he badly wants to reach down and touch Colton, hold him close and get him to spill whatever's on his mind. "I don't want anything about this to hurt you, Colton."

Colton's expression flashes, something there and then gone again, and he presses another kiss to Alexander's chest. "Then let me keep going," he says quietly. "I promised, Alexander. We can talk about it after, okay? I still want this, I still want you, and if you still want me--"

"I do," Alexander says quickly.

"Okay," Colton says, a small smile on his lips. "Then please."

"Okay," Alexander says. He's never going to be good at telling Colton no, he doesn't think. "Whatever you want."

"Right now," Colton says, "I want to eat you out."

Alexander's breath leaves him in a rush. "Fuck."

"If that's okay," Colton adds. "I know I haven't--"

"If you want to," Alexander says. He laughs, and he can hear how shivery it is. "I like it, I'm into it, but not everyone is."

"I have no idea if I am or not," Colton says, shrugging a shoulder. "But I'm into the idea of trying it, if it's you underneath me."

"Well, here I am," Alexander says, smiling when it makes Colton laugh.

"Here you are," Colton agrees, reaching out to trace a finger down Alexander's chest. His eyes follow the path he's making, and Alexander shivers at the difference between the intensity of his gaze and the barely-there touch. Colton glances up when he reaches Alexander's hip. "Will it be better for you if you're on your stomach?"

Alexander barely has to think about it. "It doesn't matter," he says. "It's-- the difference won't be that big, and I like…"

"Being tied up," Colton finishes for him.

"That you tied me up," Alexander corrects. "I want to stay like this, unless you want me some other way."

Colton laughs. "Every way," he says. He sits up and grabs the other pillow, and Alexander pushes his hips up so Colton can prop him up. He spreads his legs as wide as he comfortably can, and something in his stomach flares at the little noise Colton makes.

"You are," Colton murmurs, gaze travelling slowly up Alexander's body until their eyes meet. "You're gorgeous."

Alexander feels his face heat even more, somehow. ""That's my line, I think."

"We can share," Colton says, smiling slightly. "I'm not going to take it back. I won't."

"I won't ask you to," Alexander says. "I will ask you to maybe kiss me again, though."

Colton's smile flashes across his face as he leans up, brushing his lips quickly against Alexander's before pulling back. "I'm having flashbacks to you telling me to be more specific."

"Okay, I deserved that," Alexander says with a grin. "I guess that means I'll just leave the decision-making to you, huh?"

"Yes," Colton says firmly. He moves back down the bed, settling between Alexander's thighs again before looking back up. "So, other than porn, I don't have much to go on here."

Alexander shrugs a shoulder. "I mean, that's a good enough starting place. Go slow, and use your fingers, too."

Colton nods, then laughs. "I was about to ask you to hand me the lube," he says, amused, reaching up to pull it from beneath Alexander's shoulder.

"I probably would've tried to," Alexander says, grinning at him. "At least we're both in the same boat."

"Too distracted by how hot you are to think straight?" Colton asks.

Alexander lifts an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure I remember you telling me you've never had a straight thought in your life."

"Semantics," Colton says. He reaches out slowly, fingers sliding over the curve of Alexander's ass, and Alexander breathes out as he feels Colton part his cheeks. He rubs the pad of his thumb against Alexander's hole in gentle circles, and Alexander can feels the way his body relaxes for him, almost a year and a half of being used to Colton's fingers to fall back on.

"Okay," Colton whispers, and Alexander tilts his head down when he feels the words ghost across the inside of his thigh. Colton's head is between his legs, and Alexander's mouth drops open when he feels Colton's tongue drag right across where his finger had been a moment before.

"Oh," he chokes out, trying not to writhe against the bed, against Colton's face.

Colton laughs without moving his face. "Oh," he agrees.

"You," Alexander starts, but Colton does it again, tongue hot and wet on Alexander's hole, and all Alexander can do is gasp at the feeling. Colton keeps licking at him, gentle swipes of his tongue over and over his hole, and Alexander lets his mouth fall open so every single sound he's making can fall out and fill the room around them.

Colton groans when Alexander whimpers, and Alexander _feels_ it, the vibration rolling through him like a shockwave. "Colton," he says, more whine than anything else, and Colton pulls away. Alexander hears the lube pop open, and then Colton's back, finger sinking into Alexander. He licks around the finger, and Alexander hears himself get louder with it, Colton in him and licking at him all at once.

"God," Colton murmurs, pressing a kiss to Alexander's ass. "I love every single sound you make, and I love being the one to pull them out of you."

"Please," Alexander says. He’s most of the way to hard again, and he tries to reach for his cock without thinking about it, moaning when he pulls at the ties. "Colton, please."

"Please what," Colton asks, and it's a good question, a totally fair question, but Alexander can't connect the dots in his head to answer it, not when Colton starts moving his finger.

"Please," he says again, and he shudders when Colton's laugh hits him.

"Okay, okay," Colton says, and then Alexander feels his nose against his ass, and--

"Colton," Alexander shouts, because Colton pulled his finger out and pushed his tongue _in_, and Alexander's trembling everywhere. It's the knowledge as much as the feeling, he knows, and he glances down to see Colton's head working between his thighs, completing the picture.

"Fuck," he says, closing his eyes and letting himself feel every last bit of it, the heat and the slide, the wetness of it. Colton pushes his finger back in, crooking it to tug at Alexander's rim, and Alexander let out something that's more whine than words at Colton pushing his tongue in again, deeper this time.

Colton says something, and Alexander's not sure if it's his brain whiting out or Colton's words being muffled, but he can't make it out. "What," he manages, shifting on the bed.

"I said," Colton says, pulling back slightly. "Some day, I want to eat you out until you're crying from it. I've never heard you get like this before, but I absolutely want to hear it again."

Alexander inhales and feels the way it shudders in his chest. "Colton," he says shakily.

Colton's laugh is rough. "I really, really want to fuck you."

"Do it," Alexander urges. "Please, Colton."

"Yeah," Colton says. "I'm getting there. You're not stretched enough."

Alexander thinks about it: the way he always relaxes, Colton's careful movements, how he wants to feel it now and tomorrow and a few days from now, too. "I'm stretched enough," he says.

Colton pauses his movements and looks up at Alexander. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," Alexander says. "Not-- not in a way I don't like."

"Fuck," Colton says, his eyes going wide. "You're serious?"

"I'm serious," Alexander confirms. "You have to go slowly, and we'll need a lot of lube, but you should fuck me right now, just like this."

"Are you," Colton says, and Alexander watches as he swallows hard. "I need you to be sure about this, Alexander, because this feels like you giving me something big that I didn't even ask for, and I need to know you want it, too."

Alexander meets Colton's eyes. "I want to feel it," he says clearly. "I want to feel every inch of you pushing into me, and I want to remember it the whole drive to Denver tomorrow, and I want to be reminded of it when I put my skates on and get on the ice next week. I _want_ this, I _want_ you."

"God, yeah, okay," Colton says. He drops the lube and shoves his boxers down, kicking them off the side of the bed. The lube is back in his hand almost immediately, and he squeezes some out into his hand, stroking himself and spreading it on his cock. He reaches between Alexander's legs and rubs his hand between his cheeks, slicking him up there, and then he knee-walks forward until his cock is pressed against Alexander's hole.

Alexander tries to reach for him without thinking, and he closes his eyes when the ties prevent him from doing it. He inhales deeply, feeling Colton shift, and his eyes snap open when he feels cool metal against his wrist. Colton's concentrating on something above Alexander's head, and a moment later, he pulls the cut ties away from Alexander's hands.

"Touch me," he whispers.

Alexander reaches for him immediately, putting his hands on Colton's arms and running them up to cup his shoulders. Colton moves and Alexander can feel the way his muscles play, tensing and releasing under his hands. He wants to pull Colton down, to lay beneath him and feel him everywhere, but he wants Colton in him first.

"I've got you," he says, which is kind of nonsense, but it makes Colton smile down at him. "What do you want?"

"To get inside you," Colton says, like he's reading Alexander's mind. "And for you to keep touching me."

"I will," Alexander promises, sliding a hand back down Colton's arm. He rests his fingers on the back of Colton's hand, tapping lightly, and when Colton picks his hand up, Alexander threads their fingers together.

Colton's smile is the bright one that Alexander's been missing for most of the night, and he smiles back on reflex. "Okay," Colton says, leaning back and stroking himself a few more times. "Okay. Ready?"

"I'm ready," Alexander says, squeezing Colton's hand.

Colton moves forward again and this time he doesn't stop, pushing his cock between Alexander's cheeks and into him. It makes Alexander's mouth drop open; it's so _much_, Colton stretching him open, and even though he stops barely an inch inside, Alexander hasn't ever felt full in quite this way before.

"Tell me," Colton says. "Tell me if it's okay."

"Yeah," Alexander replies. "It's-- oh my god."

"Good or bad?" Colton asks, keeping still. "You're-- you're so tight, Alexander. I just want to make sure--"

"It's good, I'm good," Alexander cuts in. "Keep... keep going."

Colton exhales in a rush and rocks his hips forward, and Alexander lets out a high, needy sound as he slips farther in. He doesn't stop this time, pulling out a little and then thrusting back in, and Alexander gasps and writhes on the bed as his brother slowly fucks him open.

"Oh my god," he gasps out when his ass is resting against Colton's hips. He's not sure how to describe it, the feeling of absolute fullness; it's not painful, but it's not quite pleasure yet, either. It's so _much_, and every time he breathes he feels it shudder through him, the way Colton's holding so still inside him, the way he's holding so tightly to Alexander's hand.

"Let me," Alexander whispers, shifting slightly on the bed. He can feel Colton everywhere, and when he clenches down, the groan Colton lets out is stunning.

"I'll keep still as long as you need me to," Colton rasps out. "I will, Alexander, so you have to let me know."

"Be gentle at first," Alexander says, clenching down again, feeling the fullness edge closer and closer towards being _good_ inside him. "But you can move."

Colton takes a shuddery inhale and pulls his hips back, then rocks forward again. It makes his mouth drop open, and he laughs. "God," he says. "This is-- I must feel this tight to you every time."

Alexander feels his eyes go wide. "Oh my god," he breathes out. "You're-- is it always like this? I'm so _full_."

Colton untangles his fingers from Alexander's and leans down so, so slowly, until he can press his lips to Alexander's forehead. "It's so much, every time," he whispers. "And _fuck_, do I love it."

Alexander rests his hands on Colton's waist, holding him close. "I can see why."

Colton hums. "And it's always better when you start moving for real," he says, starting to move his hips again. He's still fucking in so, so gently, rocking against Alexander more than thrusting into him, and it's starting to spark inside him, lighting him up.

"You should," Alexander says, squeezing at Colton's waist. "You should go a little faster."

"If you say so," Colton says, teasing smile on his face, but he starts moving his hips with a little more purpose. He's still going slowly, but it's smooth and steady, the way he draws back just to push in again.

"God," Alexander says. He wants Colton this close always, and the thought makes him tighten his grip, pulling Colton down on top of him. This way he's surrounded, Colton in him and holding him down, one of Colton's hands planted next to Alexander's shoulder and the other winding into his hair. Colton's hips stutter for a moment as he adjusts, but then he picks up the pace again, and Alexander--

It's only right here, right now, when he has everything he wants, that he lets himself think _I want this forever_.

Alexander tips his head back to find Colton already looking down at him, and Alexander's heart turns over in his chest at the look on Colton's face. It's what Alexander thinks he has to look like right now, all the want and the desperation to keep this close and make it good reflected down at him. They're close enough that Alexander can see the way Colton's eyes widen and dilate as Alexander holds his gaze, and Alexander doesn't even have to ask before Colton's leaning down to kiss him.

Alexander closes his eyes and kisses back, and everything's hot and perfect, the way Colton's hips start moving faster, the way he doesn't pull away, the way he groans into Alexander's mouth when Alexander wraps a leg around his waist. It doesn't feel anything other than good now, the way Cplton's filling him up, keeping him open, and every time he pushes back in, it's better and better and better.

"How is it?" Colton asks, pulling back so he can look down at Alexander. "Can I-- if you still need time, that's fine--"

Alexander grins up at him. "You should fuck me."

Colton groans and pushes himself up, and Alexander misses the heat of him even though he knows Colton needs the leverage. He moves his hips back and then snaps them forward again, and Alexander's mouth drops open when he doesn't hesitate to do it again. It's an immediate change of pace, fast and hard and _perfect_, and he lets Colton hear every single noise it punches out of him.

"Fuck, fuck," Alexander says, twisting his fingers in the sheets. "It's so good, Colton. You're so good, good at this, good to me, oh my god."

"Yeah," Colton murmurs. "You taught me how to do you just how you like it, Alexander, and I was paying attention."

Alexander keens, arching his back at Colton's words and the way he wraps his fingers around Alexander's cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts. It's so good, too good, and it's almost dizzying, how fast he's on the edge. "Please," he rasps out.

"Yeah," Colton says. He tightens his hand around Alexander, jerking him quick and tight as he thrusts in and grinds his hips against Alexander without pulling out.

Alexander feels himself light up all over, pleasure running hot and sweet throughout his body as Colton moves. There's no way he's going to last, not with how close he is, but he's got nothing to prove here, no reason to hold on. He digs his foot into the small of Colton's back and cries out as it pulls him a fraction of an inch deeper, and it's perfect, a little bit too much and every single thing he asked for.

"Colton," he gasps, "Colton, Colton--"

"Alexander," Colton says, and Alexander yells and comes again, reaching for Colton and dragging him back down when he finds a shoulder.

"You," Alexander says. He knows he sounds dazed, and it matches up pretty well with the way he's feeling. "Colton."

"Right here," Colton says, pressing a kiss to Alexander's cheek, the tip of his nose, the edge of his mouth. "I'm right here, Alexander."

Alexander's chest is still heaving, breathing hard as his body rides through the aftershocks, clenching sporadically and shuddering at the way it zings through him. He tries for words but settles on a whine when he can't find anything coherent in his brain.

Colton laughs quietly, kissing Alexander's forehead. "Hey," he says. "You, uh. You said you wanted to feel it."

"Yes," Alexander says.

"Do you want me to keep going, then?" Colton asks. "If it's too much, if you've had enough--"

"It's never enough," Alexander says, and the words are rounded and soft at the edges, slurring together as he speaks. "I want you."

"Oh," Colton says softly. He leans down and presses their lips together, a chaste, close-mouthed thing. "If you want, I can… you should turn over. I'll give you something to remember tomorrow."

"Yeah," Alexander says. "Yeah, let me."

Colton kisses him again and then sits back. Alexander whimpers when he pulls out, but Colton taps at his hip and Alexander turns, settling on his stomach. He folds his arms under the pillow and lays his head on it, sighing as Colton touches his thigh, pulling it to the side so he can settle behind Alexander.

"If you want me to stop, tell me," Colton says, and then he wraps his hands around Alexander's hips, pulls him up a little, and pushes back into him.

Alexander's mouth drops open at the feeling; Colton can get deeper when he's behind Alexander like this, and he's not holding back, thrusting in hard and fast. He pulls Alexander back into every thrust, and the sounds of them fucking were obscene before, but it's so much more now. Alexander can hear the way their skin slaps together, the wet sounds of the lube as Colton fucks in again and again, and he whines loudly as his cock twitches.

"Do you need," Colton starts.

"Keep going," Alexander says. It's right over the edge into too much, and he doesn't want Colton to stop, not for anything.

"Okay," Colton says. He pulls Alexander's hips up more, changing the angle inside him, and Alexander feels him shift. It must give him more leverage because he starts moving his hips faster, harder, until he's pounding into Alexander, punching small noises from his throat every single time he slams in.

"God, god," Alexander says, rubbing his face against his arm. He can feel the tears forming at the corners of his eyes, his body giving into the feeling, into the idea of giving Colton whatever he wants. His cock is doing its damndest to get hard again with the way Colton keeps driving against his prostate, and Alexander has never been this overwhelmed in his life.

He never wants it to end.

Colton groans from behind him. "God, you feel..." he says. "You're just _taking_ it, whatever I give you."

"Yeah," Alexander says. "Anything."

Colton shoves in and grinds against him, and Alexander whines. "Anything?" Colton asks.

"Anything," Alexander says, because it's true, right now and earlier today and tomorrow, probably.

He hears the lube click open, and then he feels Colton tracing a finger against his rim, stroking right next to where his cock disappears into Alexander's body. "Even this?" Colton whispers.

"Yes," Alexander says, trying to spread himself open wider. "Colton, please."

"_Fuck_," Colton says, soft but emphatic, and then he _pushes_ with the tip of his finger, and both of them whine when it slips in.

Colton starts moving slowly, keeping his finger pressed up inside Alexander as he moves his hips, and Alexander's split between focusing on the feeling of being stretched so wide, so open, and the sounds Colton is making, the shivery gasps that mean he's getting close. It's almost dizzying, and Alexander whines again when Colton pulls all the way out, then pushes back in. He does it a few times, not giving Alexander the chance to adjust as he pulls out or as he pushes in, and Alexander buries his face in his arms and lets out a rattling sob.

"Alexander," Colton says, dragging his finger out and shoving his cock all the way back in before collapsing across Alexander's back, shuddering as he finally, finally comes.

Alexander doesn't say anything, just pulls in another breath and lets it out on another shaky-sounding sob.

"Hey," Colton says, brushing a kiss against Alexander's shoulder. "Hey, I need you to use your words. Just a few of them, I promise." He hesitates a few seconds. "Are you… are you okay?"

"Yes," Alexander says, almost choking on the word. "Yes, yes."

"Are you crying?" Colton asks.

"Yes," Alexander says again.

Colton kisses his shoulder again, more firmly this time. "Okay," he says. "I'm gonna pull out, but I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm right here."

"Okay," Alexander says. He manages a shaky exhale as Colton slides out of him.

Colton lays beside him and pulls Alexander in, and Alexander lays his head on Colton's chest, closing his eyes and breathing unsteadily as Colton runs a hand up and down his back. Neither one of them says anything, not until Alexander's breathing evens out and he feels like he can speak without sobbing again.

"Wow," he says, and his voice sounds raw-- exactly, Alexander thinks wryly, like he's been yelling his way through the best sex he's ever had.

Colton hums and pulls him in closer. "So," he says, sounding a little wary. "That was… new."

Alexander laughs. "_Yeah_ it was."

"Are you okay?" Colton asks again. "Please… please be honest with me, Alexander."

"I'm always honest with you," Alexander says, laying his arm over Colton's waist. "Always. I promise I'm okay. It was a lot, but in a good way."

"Okay," Colton says, and Alexander can feel him relax. "Was it… was it what you wanted?"

"_Yes_," Alexander says as emphatically as he can manage. "Colton, it was damn near perfect."

Colton's laugh is short. "Well, I'd say I'd aim for perfect next time, but…"

He doesn't go on, and Alexander frowns. "But what?"

"Uh," Colton says cautiously. "You said before that this was it, Alexander."

"I-- what?" Alexander asks, wracking his brain and coming up empty. He pushes himself up and looks at Colton, who's looking back at him with confusion and something like wary hope. "When did I say that?"

"You said _no promises_," Colton says. "You're going to the NHL, and I figured you meant you wanted to let me down easy so you could do whatever you wanted."

"No," Alexander says forcefully, his stomach twisting. "Oh my god, Colton, _no_. That's not what I meant at all."

"What did you mean, then?" Colton asks. "Because I for sure thought you were telling me this was our last time."

"That's why, in the middle..." Alexander says, the memory clicking into place. He reaches in the sheets for Colton's hand and squeezes it hard. "The last year has been…" He shakes his head. "But it's gonna be so different this year. I won't be there, and you might meet someone. I don't want to hold you back, Colton."

Colton tugs until Alexander falls back to the bed, and he rolls until he's plastered against Alexander's side and half on top of him. "Well, maybe I don't want to let you go," he says fiercely.

Alexander closes his eyes and holds Colton close. "I still don't want you to make me any promises," he says quietly. "I don't want you to wait for me or whatever, not if you-- if you fall for someone." It hurts to think about, but Alexander knows he needs to be firm about this, for Colton and for himself.

Colton breathes out heavily. "Okay," he finally says. "Okay. No promises."

Alexander turns his head and kisses Colton's temple. "If you thought I was calling things off, why'd you go along with it?" he asks.

"I don't know if you've realized this or not," Colton says after a moment, "but you're not the only one who doesn't say no here."

Alexander blinks. "You can and you should if you want to," he says. "Any time, for anything."

"Yeah, and I will," Colton agrees. "But also, if you think for even half a second that I was gonna miss what I thought was my last shot with you, then boy, do I have something to tell you."

Alexander almost asks what it is, almost wants to hear the words Colton would use to tell him. _No promises_, he reminds himself firmly. "Well," he says instead, shifting on the bed. "I'm sorry that I wasn't clear before, and that I ever made you think I didn't want you."

"Thanks," Colton says quietly. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. I should've just asked instead of assuming that you were asking me for one last time before you moved on to bigger and better things."

Alexander closes his eyes and pulls Colton closer for a moment. "We should clean up," he says. "And then we should get in the other bed for the night, because I think we fully wrecked his one."

Colton lets out a breath of a laugh. "We definitely did," he agrees. "And it was totally worth it."

"I'm not gonna argue with that," Alexander says. He rubs at Colton's shoulder with his thumb before letting go. "Part of me wants to shower, but most of me thinks getting from this bed to the other bed is gonna be all I can manage tonight."

Alexander can tell that Colton's smile is smug without having to see it. "Well, you said you wanted to feel it."

"I did," Alexander agrees. "And I have no regrets, trust me, but I also don't want to try showering until the morning, unless the thought of sleeping next to me while I'm still kind of gross is too weird for you."

Colton snorts. "I've slept next to you in way grosser situations," he says, tracing his finger across Alexander's stomach. "This has nothing on you after the Beanpot."

Alexander hums and grins. "Go ahead and tell me that wasn't worth it."

"Nah, I'm not in a lying kind of mood," Colton tosses back. He presses his lips to Alexander's cheek, then rolls away. "I'll get a washcloth, and then we can move to the other bed."

"You might want to get two washcloths," Alexander says, grimacing a little as he shifts in the bed. "I'm a mess."

"A hot mess, you might say," Colton says, grinning as he stands up. "Or I might say, anyway."

Alexander snorts. "That wasn't smooth."

"You don't need me to be smooth," Colton points out, and Alexander shrugs, because it's not like he's wrong.

Colton turns the sink on in the bathroom, and Alexander knows from experience that he'll be a few minutes, cleaning himself up and getting ready for bed before coming back out to help Alexander. It gives him a moment to think, to consider everything Colton said, everything he did tonight. Alexander can't help but pay attention to his heartbeat, the way it picks up in his chest as he thinks about Colton making plans, Colton going out of his way to do something special and amazing just because he thought Alexander would enjoy it, Colton still giving Alexander everything he wanted even though he thought Alexander was breaking up with him, or whatever it would be called in a situation like this.

He thinks about himself, too, the way he trusts Colton in every situation, the _want_ in his gut that's going to miss mornings eating breakfast together before heading to campus as much as it is the sex. He loves Colton, and that's not news to him at all, but it settled into his bones without him noticing it.

"Penny for your thoughts," Colton says. Alexander blinks and looks up; he'd been so focused on his thinking that he'd missed Colton finishing up his nightly routine and walking back to the bed.

"I was thinking about you," Alexander says. "I do that a lot."

Colton smiles at him. "I'm starting to think it's not just flattery when you say that."

Alexander laughs. "It's not," he confirms, reaching up to take the washcloth from Colton.

"Nope," Colton says firmly. He taps on Alexander's knee. "Let me."

Alexander opens his mouth, but Colton's talked about it before, how he likes being able to take care of Alexander after. "Okay," he says, and he watches Colton's face as he concentrates on wiping the worst of the mess off of Alexander's body with firm, gentle motions. He drops the washcloth to the ground after finishing between Alexander's legs and reaches for another one that Alexander must've missed him putting on the nightstand, and then he looks at Alexander.

"Close your eyes," he says quietly, and Alexander does it without question. The washcloth touches his face a moment later as Colton wipes gently at the tear tracks there, and Alexander shivers when Colton pulls the cloth away and leans down to kiss him.

Alexander keeps his eyes closed for a moment as Colton pulls away, then blinks up at him with a smile. "Thank you."

Colton smiles back at him, then holds out a hand. "You're welcome," he says. "Let's get to the other bed. We've still got a few more hours before we have to get up so you can leave."

Alexander takes his hand and pulls himself up gingerly. He drops it when he's standing steadily so he can wrap his arms around Colton's waist and lean into him, face pressed against his neck. "Yeah," he says as Colton's arms settle around him. "Still a little time."

Colton turns and presses his lips to Alexander's temple, and they stand there together for a while, swaying slightly from side to side. Alexander doesn't want to let go, and it's pretty clear that Colton's not in a rush to, either.

"Okay," Alexander finally says. It's not that he's ready to let go, but he thinks he can now, and that's a step in the right direction. "Bed."

"Bed," Colton agrees, holding Alexander tighter for a moment before letting his arms drop. He's got a crooked smile on his face when he takes a step backwards towards the other bed, and he holds a hand out to Alexander. "Come on."

"Always," Alexander says as he takes it, and it's possible that he's never said anything truer in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> And now we've come full circle, as the next one chronologically is the first one in the series! The next story will jump back to after fic #3 in this series (the one where they FINALLY tell each other they love each other, which I spent most of this fic screaming at them to do already).
> 
> (I keep almost forgetting to post these anon, and let me tell you, that is STRESSFUL.)


End file.
